New Life for Smokers

Smokers of America, take heart. Your deliverance is at hand. No longer can you be denied coveted employment opportunities. No longer can you be forced to huddle in alleyways in sub-zero temperatures to indulge your habit. No longer must you bear, without recourse, the indignities heaped upon you by condescending, nonsmoking coworkers. How has this come to pass? Who are your saviors? Why, none other than President Bill Clinton and Food and Drug Administration Commissioner David Kessler, who a week ago transformed you from a despised and oppressed rabble into the newest legally protected minority.